Gay kids are dying...F*ck Your Feelings...

And people wonder why someone might become a gay activist. Here is why I've become one...NO MORE MISTER NICE GAY HERE!

I was bullied for being perceived as gay as early as third grade. By fifth grade it had turned into daily harassment at the bus stop. Kids would stand around me in a circle to intimidate me, spitting on the ground around me and calling me faggot. On the bus ride home, girls would make fun of my clothes, say I had lice and call me fag.

My father was a pastor of an evangelical Christian church during my youth. I remember vividly the conversations adults would have around me about how the 'gays' were out to convert children and how they were going to hell. We lived in the Bay Area of California during the time Harvey Milk was assassinated. As a fifth grader, all I remember thinking was, "Harvey Milk was killed for being a fag, gay people are going to hell and there's no love or room in heaven for gay people."

I knew all along I was different. I was one of those fags. Everyone hates fags. I hated myself for feeling the way I did.

So recently these stories in the news about kids being bullied for being gay to the point that they committed suicide has seriously hit home with me. There is NO room for bullying regardless of the reason. And I'm mad. I'm sick of anyone being told they are "less than" another.

Well, the article below is taken from Dan Savage's "Savage Love" column from October 14, 2010. The columnist and activist Dan Savage was sent a question by a "well intentioned" Christian who thought Dan was being too hard on Christians for the bullying. Below is the exchange. All I can say is.. AMEN Dan Savage. AMEN!

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=5135029

To Dan:

I heard an interview with you about your It Gets Better campaign. I was saddened and frustrated with your comments regarding people of faith and their perpetuation of bullying. As someone who loves the Lord and does not support gay marriage, I can honestly say I was heartbroken to hear about the young man who took his own life.

If your message is that we should not judge people based on their sexual preference, how do you justify judging entire groups of people for any other reason (including their faith)? There is no part of me that took any pleasure in what happened to that young man.

To that end, to imply that I would somehow encourage my children to mock, hurt, or intimidate another person for any reason is completely unfounded and offensive. Being a follower of Christ is, above all things, a recognition that we are all imperfect, fallible, and in desperate need of a savior. We cannot believe that we are better or more worthy than other people.

Please consider your viewpoint, and please be more careful with your words in the future.

L.R.

Dan's Reply...

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt by my comments.

No, wait. I'm not. Gay kids are dying. So let's try to keep things in perspective: Fuck your feelings.

A question: Do you "support" atheist marriage? Interfaith marriage? Divorce and remarriage? All are legal, all go against Christian and/or traditional ideas about marriage, and yet there's no "Christian" movement to deny marriage rights to atheists or people marrying outside their respective faiths or people divorcing and remarrying. Why the hell not?

Sorry, L.R., but so long as you support the denial of marriage rights to same-sex couples, it's clear that you do believe that some people—straight people—are "better or more worthy" than others.

And—sorry—but you are partly responsible for the bullying and physical violence being visited on vulnerable LGBT children. The kids of people who see gay people as sinful or damaged or disordered and unworthy of full civil equality—even if those people strive to express their bigotry in the politest possible way (at least when they happen to be addressing a gay person)—learn to see gay people as sinful, damaged, disordered, and unworthy. And while there may not be any gay adults or couples where you live, or at your church, or in your workplace, I promise you that there are gay and lesbian children in your schools. And while you can only attack gays and lesbians at the ballot box, nice and impersonally, your children have the option of attacking actual gays and lesbians, in person, in real time.

Real gay and lesbian children. Not political abstractions, not "sinners." Gay and lesbian children.

Try to keep up: The dehumanizing bigotries that fall from the lips of "faithful Christians," and the lies about us that vomit out from the pulpits of churches that "faithful Christians" drag their kids to on Sundays, give your children license to verbally abuse, humiliate, and condemn the gay children they encounter at school. And many of your children—having listened to Mom and Dad talk about how gay marriage is a threat to family and how gay sex makes their magic sky friend Jesus cry—feel justified in physically abusing the LGBT children they encounter in their schools. You don't have to explicitly "encourage [your] children to mock, hurt, or intimidate" queer kids. Your encouragement—along with your hatred and fear—is implicit. It's here, it's clear, and we're seeing the fruits of it: dead children.

Oh, and those same dehumanizing bigotries that fill your straight children with hate? They fill your gay children with suicidal despair. And you have the nerve to ask me to be more careful with my words?

Did that hurt to hear? Good. But it couldn't have hurt nearly as much as what was said and done to Asher Brown and Justin Aaberg and Billy Lucas and Cody Barker and Seth Walsh—day in, day out for years—at schools filled with bigoted little monsters created not in the image of a loving God, but in the image of the hateful and false "followers of Christ" they call Mom and Dad.

Kylie Minogue - All The Lovers

Parts of President Obama's Speech at the National Prayer Breakfast

This part of his speech stuck with me.

...we have seen faith wielded as a tool to divide us from one another - as an excuse for prejudice and intolerance. Wars have been waged. Innocents have been slaughtered. For centuries, entire religions have been persecuted, all in the name of perceived righteousness.

There is no doubt that the very nature of faith means that some of our beliefs will never be the same. We read from different texts. We follow different edicts. We subscribe to different accounts of how we came to be here and where we’re going next - and some subscribe to no faith at all.

But no matter what we choose to believe, let us remember that there is in religion whose central tenet is hate. There is no God who condones taking the life of an innocent human being. This much we know.

We know too that whatever our differences, there is one law that binds all great religions together. Jesus told us to "love thy neighbor as thyself." The Torah commands, "That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow." In Islam, there is a hadith that reads "None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself." And the same is true for Buddhists and Hindus; for followers of Confucius and for humanists. It is, of course, the Golden Rule - the call to love one another; to understand one another; to treat with dignity and respect those with whom we share a brief moment on this Earth.

It is an ancient rule; a simple rule; but also one of the most challenging. For it asks each of us to take some measure of responsibility for the well-being of people we may not know or worship with or agree with on every issue. Sometimes, it asks us to reconcile with bitter enemies or resolve ancient hatreds. And that requires a living, breathing, active faith. It requires us not only to believe, but to do - to give something of ourselves for the benefit of others and the betterment of our world.

Voices of Honor

Voices of Honor

U.S. Military: Where It's Illegal for Gay and Lesbian People to be Honest

"Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" (DADT)- the current U.S. policy prohibiting lesbian and gay people from serving openly in the military - is an antiquated policy based on false assumptions that an openly lesbian or gay service member would be detrimental to unit cohesion, combat readiness and troop morale. In reality, this discriminatory policy hurts military readiness and national security through the unit disarray caused by extended discharge proceedings and the loss of personnel key to mission success.

As stated by John M. Shalikashvili, former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and former supporter of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," the lift of the ban is inevitable. "When that day comes, gay men and lesbians will no longer have to conceal who they are, and the military will no longer need to sacrifice those whose service it cannot afford to lose," he said.

The Military Readiness Enhancement Act (MREA) would replace this discriminatory and unworkable policy with a policy of non-discrimination. On July 8, 2009, Rep. Patrick Murphy, D-Penn., became the lead sponsor of MREA (H.R. 1283).

‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ Poses Exorbitant Costs to Military and Nation

Nearly 800 specialists with critical skills have been fired from the U.S. military under DADT, including more than 300 linguists, at least 60 of whom specialized in Arabic.

More than 65,000 gay, lesbian and bisexual Americans are already protecting our homeland (Urban Institute report). More than 13,000 have been discharged under DADT since the policy was implemented in 1993.

American taxpayers have paid between $250 million and $1.2 billion to investigate, eliminate and replace qualified, patriotic service members who want to serve their country but can't, because expressing their sexual orientation violates DADT (Government Accountability Office report).

To accommodate the estimated 4,000 service members who choose not to re-enlist every year because of the "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" law, as well as the estimated 40,000 recruits who would join should the ban on lesbians and gays serving be lifted, the military has eased recruitment requirements, including age, intelligence and moral standards. While convicted felons such as rapists and terrorists have received "moral waivers" to serve in the armed forces, open homosexuality remains a barrier to enlistment.

Americans Support Allowing Gays and Lesbians to Serve Openly

The vast majority of Americans support the right of service members to serve openly and honestly, and the majority of service members are comfortable serving alongside lesbian and gay troops. In addition, numerous allies in the war on terror allow lesbians and gays to serve openly and proudly.

Sixty-seven percent of civilians support allowing gays to serve openly (Annenberg 2004 survey). In 2003, Fox News reported that 64 percent of civilians support repeal, and the Gallup organization reported a support level of 79 percent based on responses to similarly worded questions.

Nearly three in four troops (73 percent) say they are personally comfortable in the presence of gays and lesbians (Zogby International and the Michael D. Palm Center 2006 study). One in four U.S. troops who served in Afghanistan or Iraq knows a member of their unit who is gay. More than 55 percent of the troops who know a gay colleague said the presence of gays or lesbians in their unit is well-known by others (Zogby International). All published Pentagon studies that address the topic, including the 1993 Rand Report, conclude that there should be no special restrictions on service by gay personnel.

More than 20 of the 26 NATO nations, including Great Britain, Australia, Canada and Israel, already allow open service by gays and lesbians, and none of the countries reports morale or recruitment problems. The United States, Turkey, Greece and Portugal are the only NATO nations that forbid lesbians and gays to serve openly in the armed services.

Nine nations allowing open service have fought alongside American troops in Operation Iraqi Freedom. In addition, 12 nations allowing open service fought alongside U.S. troops in Operation Enduring Freedom.

In June 2009, John Shalikashvili, former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and former supporter of "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell," wrote in a Washington Post op-ed, "In the same way that military leaders take into account research about what works and what doesn’t when contemplating a new strategy or doctrine, it will be important for the conversation about gays and lesbians in the military to be informed by data, not speculation or emotion."

It is very clear that existing data demonstrate that repeal of "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" will be beneficial to the United States military, and that the military can only be harmed by maintaining the status quo. Since enactment of the "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" policy, numerous lesbian and gay troops have served openly while pending discharge with no effect on unit performance, readiness, cohesion or morale. Moreover, U.S. military personnel are already serving side-by-side with openly gay service members - with no identifiable negative effects - in and from countries throughout the world, as well as with integrated U.S. government contractors.

Former Defense Secretary William Cohen said in a 2007 interview on CNN that the ban is discriminatory, and, "We're hearing from within the military what we're hearing from within society, that we're becoming a much more open, tolerant society for diverse opinions and orientation."

We must end this unnecessary policy sooner rather than later and ensure that the U.S. military can recruit and retain the best and the brightest troops regardless of their sexual orientation.

Consumer Financial Protection Agency

The ‘Consumer Financial Protection Agency’ has been proposed in Congress which will be a major overhaul of the financial industry to ensure more accountability, stability and protections for consumers. The core idea behind the proposal, supporters say, is to pull together consumer oversight powers that are now scattered among various agencies, and to put consumer interests where they should be -- much higher on the priority list than they were during the years leading up to the housing and credit bubble and bust. Here’s a great article in the LA Times that describes what this proposed agency would do: http://www.latimes.com/classified/realestate/news/la-fi-harney2-2009aug02,0,7083818.story

This week, the House of Representatives will vote on this. Send a message to your congressman now to support this legislation! You can do so at this link: http://action.citizen.org/t/6693/campaign.jsp?campaign_KEY=27546

Gay Marriage, Tiger's Prenup & the Law

I got this from Cup 'o Joel: http://blogs.philadelphiaweekly.com/politics/2009/12/03/tiger-woods-prenup-gay-marriage-and-the-law/

This is my favorite part of the article:

So: Tiger cheated on his wife, probably multiple times. He’s paying her millions of dollars to stay with him. They’re in legal negotiations over financial terms of their continued marriage. If she stays with him another couple of years, she’ll be “vested” — you don’t usually hear that term outside of 401(k) hearings — and receive the full amount of a settlement.

I’ll grant you, this is an extreme case. What Woods and his wife call “marriage” looks more like a cold and calculated contractual business partnership from the outside. In the eyes of the law, that’s essentially what marriage is: A contract between two people that gives them certain rights as a couple and responsibilities to the other. There’s nothing mystical or sacred about it from the state’s viewpoint.

But the extremity of Tiger’s case helps clarify, a bit, what the gay marriage fight is all about: The right of two people of the same sex to make a contract with each other. Legally, it’s not about “sanctity” or “sacredness” or any of that stuff because the law doesn’t — shouldn’t — concern itself with such things. Certainly, it appears, Tiger Woods hasn’t. Yet his contract with his wife receives the respect of the law. It’s all a bit bewildering.

Loving me some Kylie!

DUE TO OVERWHELMING DEMAND, VIDEO MAY APPEAR SLOW. IF YOU'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WATCHING A VIDEO, CLICK THE PAUSE BUTTON, WAIT A FEW MINUTES AND THEN SELECT PLAY!

Gay blogger accused of terrorism by religious right-wingers

From www.pinknews.co.uk
These far right wing nuts are insane. They hate so much in the name of God. Disgusting........

A gay US blogger whose readers warned that radical gays and lesbians could attack right-wingers has been accused of terrorism and reported to the FBI.

Joe Jervis, who runs the blog Joe.My.God., criticised anti-gay figure Peter LaBarbera in a post last week for suggesting gays and lesbians should not have any relationship rights at all.

LaBarbera, the president of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality, wrote on his group's website that civil unions and domestic partnerships would "dismantle traditional marriage".

When Jervis attacked LaBarbera's argument on his blog, one commentator was concerned that radicals could take over the currently peaceful gay rights movement.

The reader wrote: "What I fear is that once gay and lesbian people give up hope of achieving equality through nonviolent means, there will be radicals who will begin to hunt down haters like LaBarbera and Gallagher."

Others wrote: “Maybe a bit of well-organised terrorism is just what we need” and “Will someone please give me a gun?”

The anti-gay group Liberty Counsel then contacted the FBI to complain, citing the recent shootings at Fort Hood. The alleged perpetrator had apparently been writing messages on internet boards.

Matt Barber, of Liberty Counsel, told conservative website World Net Daily: "Anybody who is willing to make these types of comments, and suggest it is time for acts of terrorism against Christians because they have a disagreement with the homosexual lifestyle, we have to take it seriously, in the wake of what we saw at Fort Hood, Texas."

In an email to US LGBT site Advocate.com, Jervis responded: "Even a casual reading of the comments in question will show that no direct threats of 'terrorism' were made towards anyone.

"In fact, the comment that LaBarbera has fed to every right wing news site in the country actually expresses concern that an unbalanced person might do something violent and hurt the LGBT cause in doing so.

"But that doesn't matter to the Christian right, who in an internet game of 'Telephone' have ratcheted up the story to the point where it looks like I, myself, have made terrorist threats."

Jervis has removed the post and comments from his website.

Gay Teen Who Had Excorism appears on Tyra Banks

This gay teen was taken to his church by his parents and an excorism was performed on him to remove the unclean spirit/demon. Now that he's 'not gay' he went on Tyra to tell his story. It all sounds so rehearsed and ridiculous. I honestly believe he's brainwashed into believing this crap. The unclean spirit is gone, but he has to still fight the thoughts? You're gay my friend. Face it. It makes me very sad that his religious parents can let him be what he naturally is. Very very sad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z2Uk7qTYms&feature=PlayList&p=3C85B77D93E28B5A&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=32

FOR THOSE WHO STRUGGLE WITH THE ISSUE OF SAME SEX MARRIAGE

I know I have many friends who struggle with the issue of same sex marriage (their religious beliefs vs being fair on a civil level). I frequently post things on by blog or Facebook about this, and wanted to explain why I feel so strongly about my support for it. So here's my story... It's from the heart....
********************************************************************************
"I hate myself. I am so ugly. No one would ever want me. No one can see the potential in me. Nothing I ever do is good enough." I've said these statements to myself many times over the years. When you tell yourself these kinds of things over and over you truly start believing it to your core. It's a self hatred that permeates your soul. So where did it come from for me?

I grew up in a religious home... evangelical Christian to be specific. My father and his father were both ministers during my childhood years. Watching them preach from the pulpit gave me a feeling of pride. When I was barely old enough to talk I would walk up to the front of the church and stand next to the pulpit and wave my finger at people and in kid gibberish would mimic my father and grandpa preaching. When I was younger I wanted to follow in their foot steps and preach God's word.... that we can all be saved through Christ's sacrifice for us and that God calls us to love one another.

In first grade I knew I was different. Most of my friends were girls, I didn't care for sports, and I was extremely sensitive. I was in fifth grade and living in the Bay Area the year Harvey Milk was murdered. I remember hearing people talk about the fag that was killed. It was during this time that my mom would have to sit in her car close to the bus stop and make sure the kids weren't picking on me. They would typically spit on the ground around me and call me faggot. The girls would sit behind me on the school bus and say I had lice and dandruff and the whole bus would laugh at me. I would run home from the bus stop and run into the hills behind our house and sit there looking out at the valley feeling so lonely. Why were they picking on me? I was a good person and was just being me. I was only ten.

But I had a secret buried so deep, no one knew for certain until I was 19. A secret that made me feel ugly and sinful. I knew I was going to hell for feeling the way I did. I was attracted to the same sex. I prayed to God at night to take the feelings away. I didn't want to feel this way. I knew I'd be rejected and hated. As I grew older, the attraction to the same sex grew stronger.

My coming out at 19 was rather traumatic. My parents found out quite by accident. When my parents confronted me and asked me if I was gay, I said no because I was so ashamed and confused. I knew to my core I was gay - but up until that point, I hadn't even kissed anyone! But I finally told them the truth. The shame I felt was horrible. They sent me to a counselor in Seattle. This place specialized in helping homosexuals escape the 'lifestyle' through prayer and immersion in Christ. I went along with it for a while until my parents determined it was too expensive to have me drive from Portland to Seattle once a week. So I began seeing a Christian counselor in Portland. Nothing changed about how I felt. I was gay.

I eventually saw gay friendly counselors of my choosing later in life. It's taken years of counseling and encouragement from friends... but I like who I am now. I happen to believe that God made me the way I am. I no longer argue with people over whether I was born gay. Simply put - why would anyone CHOOSE to put yourself through this? The only thing I've chosen is to be happy with who I am. I am continuing to learn to love myself more every day.

For so long, I never thought I was good enough for anything. I always felt I was average in everything. Even when it came to things like 'civil unions' or 'domestic partnership' for gay couples... I used to think - that's good enough. I don't deserve to get married. I’m not straight. Even me, a gay guy – didn’t believe in same sex marriage.

But in the last couple of years it finally hit me -- I DO deserve to get married to the person I love. 'Civil unions' or 'domestic partnership laws" are NOT enough. I am good enough and deserve marriage equality like any heterosexual couple does. Why should I not receive the same governmental recognition and benefits that anyone else does? Because the person I love is the same sex? This isn’t an issue of whether your religious beliefs say it’s wrong. It’s about governmental recognition and the benefits provided to married couples.

For example, I could be with my partner for 40 years - and he will never be able to get my social security should I die. I worked my whole life for that – the person I love should receive the benefit from that. But that can only happen at the federal level. And that’s just one small example of the multitude of benefits most straight, married people take for granted that are given at a civil level.

Perhaps this whole same sex marriage issue is making straight people look at their own marriages. I get really tired of the argument that same sex marriage will destroy “traditional” marriage. I think the threat to marriage is divorce and we know the statics on that. Maybe it should be more difficult for people to get married and harder to get divorced. Then maybe people would take marriage more seriously. You have a group of people here who DO take it seriously and want to simply be given the same civil/governmental benefits. Whatever your religious views, you must be able to see the inequity there.

It’s taken a long road for me to get to a place where I can stand tall and proud of who and what I am. When I hear people say same sex marriage shouldn’t be allowed, I flash back to those days of being scared, taunted and spit around as a child. And I won’t be treated less than anyone else ever again. I deserve better. We all do. It's why I am so adamant about this issue.

I don’t expect everyone who struggles with this issue to read this story and suddenly be in favor of marriage equality. I just hope I’ve opened up your eyes a bit to what it’s like from my perspective, and why I feel so strongly about this. In a time where the economy is in the crapper, people are struggling to make ends meet and people are starving, I would think the church would be rallying to spend money to help these folks. Instead churches are spending millions to keep loving couples from being able to have marriage equality. I’m pretty sure God’s message was about love. At least that’s what I thought when I wagged my finger from my grandfather’s pulpit.